💬 A colleague pointed out how we all say 5 minutes and mean half an hour

A colleague at work in Khobar, Hesham from Cairo, asked me last week, how long is 5 minutes in Hyderabad? I said, 5 minutes. He said, no. He pulled out his phone and showed me a notebook page. For 3 weeks he'd been writing down every time I said, 5 minutes, and how long it really took. The average was 27 minutes. There was 1 entry that said 2 hours. He'd underlined it twice. I tried to defend myself. I said, when I say 5 minutes it means I'm getting ready to leave. He said, are you in the car? I said, no. Are you wearing shoes? I said, soon. I tried to explain it to him. He wrote that down too and said it made no sense. Then he asked, so what do you say when you really mean 5 minutes? I had no answer. I called my brother in Hyderabad from the office the next day. He said, 5 minutes, one second, and put the phone down. He took 14 minutes to come back. Then he said, sorry, was in the bathroom. I didn't even ask. Hesham was listening on speaker. He nodded slowly, like a man who has finally found the evidence. My wife heard all of it from the kitchen and said the same 14 minutes applies to me. Hesham now says it back to me. Last Tuesday I asked for the report and he said, 5 minutes. I looked at the clock. 3:10. I wrote it in my notebook. He saw me and went red. He sent the report at 3:52. I put 42 next to it and showed him, and we both laughed. He gave me his notebook page. I keep it in my wallet next to my work card.

An average of 27 minutes, and one entry underlined twice for 2 hours, is the funniest data I have seen. My cousin from Pune says Hyderabad time is its own timezone, and I have no argument.

A colleague from Delhi once timed me too. I'd said 10 minutes for a report and took 55. My excuse was that I'd already started it in my head. He didn't accept that as work. I think the 27 minute average sounds low to me. Mine is closer to 40, and 1 hour on Fridays. Since then I've started saying 20 minutes. It's less of a lie, and nobody keeps notes.