💬 I go quiet in big groups, give me one friend and I never stop talking

Last Friday a friend had his birthday dinner at a cafe in Banjara Hills. 12 of us. I counted afterwards. In 2 hours I said maybe 6 sentences, and 2 were pass the water. Everyone was talking over everyone. I'd think of something to say, and by then the topic had moved. I smiled a lot. My jaw hurt on the drive home from all the smiling. Then Kabir and I walked to the parking together, just the 2 of us. Somehow we stood next to my bike for an hour and a half talking about everything. His job, my mother's health, a cricket match from 2011, whether his new flat has damp problems. It was the best part of the night and nobody else was even there for it. Since moving back from Riyadh I've noticed it more. Back there, groups were small by default. 5 of us in a shared flat, someone always making tea, and everyone got a turn. Here every get together is 15 people and a loud restaurant and a loud birthday song. I still go. I just plan my exit and a one on one for afterwards. My mother says I was like this as a kid too. I hid behind her at weddings. Do you do this as well? Go to the group thing, then catch up with 1 person later? Kabir texted me the next morning and said that was the best part of the whole night for him too. I didn't tell him I'd barely said a word to anyone else for 2 hours straight.

Jaw hurting from smiling, I know that feeling. I am quiet in groups too and I have started arriving early to the same dinner, because the first 3 people are always easier. By the time the loud ones show up I already have a friend at the table. Did you and Kabir plan the parking lot chat, or did it just happen on the way out?

I'm the reverse. One on one I feel watched, and groups let me hide behind the loud ones. Last month at a cousin's dinner I said 3 things all night and still had a great time.