💬 I ate alone at a restaurant for the first time last month, and I'm going back

For years I thought eating alone at a restaurant was a sad thing. Like you had no friends. I'd rather stay hungry than walk in and ask for a table for 1. That's how bad it was. I once stood outside a cafe in Banjara Hills for 10 minutes and then went home and ate Maggi. My husband laughed at me. He said, who is looking at you? I said, everyone, obviously. Last month he was out of town for work for a week, and my sister had gone back to Vijayawada. On the Thursday I got home early, the fridge was empty, and I really didn't want to cook. There's a small place near Abids that does dosas. Old, simple, steel plates. I walked in on a whim. The man at the counter asked, how many? I said 1. He just said, sit anywhere, madam. That was it. I thought everyone would stare. Nobody looked up. There was a man reading the paper, 2 students, a family. I ordered a ghee dosa and a filter coffee. The dosa came and I ate it slowly, the way I like to. I've never eaten so slowly in my life. Normally I'm rushing, or talking, or taking someone's plate. I noticed things. The way they spread the batter, the sound of the steel tumblers, the smell of ghee. It was a lovely half hour. I didn't take my phone out once. I'm still a bit surprised by that. I finished, paid, and walked out feeling quite light. Like I'd got away with something. Then I went back on Saturday, and I did it again. Different place, same feeling. My husband came back on Monday and I told him. He said, I told you so. I told him to be quiet. I think the awkwardness is all in your head. Nobody's thinking about you as much as you think. It took me 36 years to find that out. I don't know why it took so long. Now I'm planning a proper one, a nice dinner for myself, on my birthday. Alone, with a book. Does anyone else do this regularly? Or am I just catching up with the rest of you?

Standing outside a cafe for 10 minutes and then eating Maggi at home is painfully close to my own first attempt. I picked a table in the corner with a book, and the waiter just asked if I wanted water.

Took me ages too. First time I ate alone, in Himayatnagar, I stared at my phone the whole meal. Now I go once a month on purpose. Biryani, no phone, just watching people and eating slowly. The waiter at my usual place has stopped asking if someone's joining me. He just brings 1 plate. It's become the most peaceful hour in my whole month.