💬 I hold my chai with both hands even when it isn't hot

I hold my chai cup with both hands. Every time, even in May when it's 42 outside. My husband noticed it a month after we got married. He said, are you cold? It was April. I said no. He said, then why? I didn't have an answer, so I took another sip. It's been 6 years and he still glances at my hands whenever I pick up a cup. I've been trying to work out where it comes from. I think it's my grandmother's kitchen. She served chai in small glass cups with a thin rim, and they really were too hot. We were told to use both hands or the cup would fall. I was 7 or 8 years old. My hands never got the message that the cup stopped being dangerous a long time ago. At my office there's a paper cup rule. 1 hand, because the cup is flimsy and so is the lid. Last week a colleague, Meera, watched me and said, you look like you're praying with it. I looked down and she was right. Both palms flat, thumbs crossed, eyes half closed for the first sip. Now I can't stop seeing it. I'm self conscious about a cup of tea, which is new for me. My mother in law does it too. I noticed on Sunday and neither of us said anything. We just sat across the table in the same pose, 2 women holding tea like a baby bird. Her cup was empty and she was still holding it. I didn't point that out. I put mine down and picked it up with 1 hand, to see how it felt. Terrible, so I stopped.

I don't use the handle at all. I wrap both palms around the body of the mug. People think it's hot and ask if I'm okay. It's usually lukewarm and I'm fine. A thin handle feels like holding a sparrow by one leg. Two palms feel safe. Your grandmother's glass cups explain a lot. Mine was a steel glass at my aunt's place.

My mother does this too, both hands, any weather. I never thought it was odd until I moved out. At my first office I noticed nobody else held a cup like that, so I copied them for a week. It felt wrong, like wearing someone else's slippers. By Friday I was back to both hands. Meera's line about praying made me laugh out loud, because mine really does look like that.

Same, especially in winter. Holding the cup in both hands is half the reason I drink tea at all.