💬 I lent a book 2 years ago and I've stopped asking for it back

Two years ago I lent my friend Zaid a thick cricket book that my uncle had given me. He said he'd read it in a week. I asked once after a month and he said, I'm halfway. After 6 months I asked again. He said, I'll bring it Friday. He never said which Friday. I didn't push. It felt silly to chase a friend over a paperback, so I let it slide. Now it's a running joke between us. When we meet he pats his bag and says, not today. I laugh along, but my uncle wrote my name on the first page, in blue pen. It's the only thing he ever wrote for me, and it's sitting on a shelf in Zaid's flat. I've never told Zaid that, because it would sound dramatic coming from a grown man over a book. I looked for another copy online last week. It's out of print, and the only used one is 1,400 rupees. That's roughly 3 times what the book cost new. I almost ordered it, then felt stupid halfway through. Why should I pay again for a book that Zaid already has? That's what I told myself. It didn't work. I closed the tab and went to make tea, still annoyed at both of us. I've lent things since and I always say a date now. Zaid has borrowed a charger and returned it in 2 days. So he can do it. He's just decided the book belongs to him. Next time he pats his bag, I might walk over to his flat and stand in front of that shelf. I'll say nothing. I'll just look at it for a bit.

Zaid patting his bag and saying not today is a very polite way to keep a book. My uncle wrote my name in a cricket annual too, so I get why the blue pen part hurts. I lent a novel to a colleague in 2021 and bought a second copy last month instead of asking. It cost 350 rupees. The friendship was worth more, but I do miss that first copy.

I lent my cousin a cricket bat four years ago and at this point I think of it as a gift I never officially agreed to give. What annoys me more than the item itself is the awkward pretending that it is still technically mine whenever it comes up.