💬 Plain salted popcorn beats every flavour I've tried

I've given every flavour of popcorn a fair chance. Caramel, cheese, peri peri, even a strange masala one. Plain salted wins every time, and I'm tired of explaining that to my friends at the counter. Last month Imran bought a giant caramel tub and said, trust me, this is better. So I trusted him. By the second half my fingers were stuck together and the armrest looked like a crime scene. Caramel popcorn is a dessert pretending to be a snack. Nobody can eat it for 2 hours straight. Cheese is worse. The orange powder gets all over your jeans and you smell like a canteen till midnight. Plain salted is quiet. You reach in, you chew, you look back at the screen. Nobody gets bothered. It's the only one I never think about, which is what you want from a movie snack. When I was small my father bought a paper bag of it from a cart outside the theatre. Salt and nothing else, and the bag had gone see through with oil by the interval. Still the best I've had. The tubs at the multiplex now cost 5 times as much. Some of them taste like warm cardboard, and I buy them anyway, because the smell alone is worth it. Imran tried to defend himself afterwards. He said the caramel was a good brand, imported, not the cheap one. I said the brand wasn't the problem, the problem was that I couldn't hold my own phone. He bought me a plain tub the next week to say sorry. It was too salty and I ate every piece. He's still not allowed near the counter, and he knows exactly why.

A crime scene on the armrest, that line made me laugh.

I'm on the other side, nachos with bright orange cheese sauce. Plain popcorn sounds nice but I can't do it. The sauce is fake and I know it, which is exactly why I love it. Last month I paid 280 rupees for a tray at the multiplex in Kukatpally and I'd do it again. Your caramel friend sounds like he earned those sticky fingers though.