Saturday night at Prasads, last row, a good thriller. The man behind me had a
bucket of popcorn the size of a drum. He didn't eat it. He attacked it.
Crunch, crunch, a pause, then 5 more crunches. Every 10 seconds. The film had a
quiet scene where 2 people whisper in a car. I heard the whole conversation as crunching.
I turned around once. He smiled and offered me the bucket. I said no thank you,
like a polite coward. It's only that sound. Someone can play loud music and I'm fine.
A baby cries on a flight, I'm fine. Chewing ice and crunching chips
make my neck go stiff. My teeth hurt a little. I can't explain it.
My brother eats chips at home with his mouth open and I leave the
room. He thinks I'm dramatic. My mother says I should ask people to stop.
I said, what, in a cinema? She said, yes, politely. The worst
place is a train. Last year on the Hyderabad to Vijayawada run, a
family of 5 shared 1 packet of chips. I counted. 40 minutes
of crunching and the packet was never empty. How is that even possible?
I moved to another coach, then came back because the seat there was worse. I tried
to read my book. I read the same page 6 times and still can't tell you
what was on it. I tried earplugs once on a train. The crunching of the man
opposite came through anyway. Now I buy my own popcorn and eat it loudly on purpose.
If I'm making noise I can't hear his. It works about half the time.
Last night I finished mine in 15 minutes and had nothing left to hide behind.
Next time I'm booking the front row, where nobody dares to eat. I'll let you know how it goes.