💬 My daughter's marriage proposal from a Melbourne boy got called off

My daughter's rishta fell through last month, after 2 months of everything going fine. The boy was good, an engineer in Melbourne, decent family, everyone at home liked him. I did most of the talking with his side, and I was more excited than she was. Photos, 2 meetings, one long lunch with both families. I was already thinking about halls. After that lunch she went quiet. I said it was nerves. My wife said no, go and ask her properly. So one night the three of us sat in the hall with the TV off for once, and I asked her straight what she wanted. She said she liked him, but Australia scared her. Far from family, starting from zero, nobody close by. She hadn't said it earlier because she saw how happy I was. That one hurt. I did years in Riyadh myself and I know that loneliness. Somehow I never pictured my own daughter on the other side of that phone screen. My tea went cold in my hand that night. Next day I called the boy's father myself. I told him it's the distance, not his son. He took it well and said better now than after the wedding. I was embarrassed in front of relatives for weeks anyway. She's relaxed now. Last Sunday she laughed at dinner for the first time in a month.

Not every family takes it this well though. In our neighbourhood something similar turned really ugly.

I stayed quiet through 2 meetings during my own marriage talks years ago. The night before the family wanted an answer, I told my mother Dubai scared me. She wasn't angry at all. She looked relieved that I'd said it before the wedding and not after.

My sister turned down 2 proposals for the same reason, one from Sydney and one from Toronto. The whole family called her silly at the time, my mother most of all. She married a Hyderabad guy later, lives 15 minutes from my parents, and she's very happy. Your daughter told you the truth when it counted. Better that than a yes she didn't mean.

Same thing happened in our extended family 2 years back. Girl's side got cold feet after the second meeting. Before that it was all photos and excitement, nobody thought about her living there alone. Better it breaks now than 5 years into a marriage she never wanted. And calling the boy's father yourself takes guts. Most fathers would just send some relative to do it.