💬 What going abroad for work really cost my family

I left for Riyadh in 2017 at 23, with one suitcase and a lot of other people's money. My father took a loan of 1.8 lakh from a cousin. My mother sold 2 gold bangles. The agent's fee alone was 85,000, then the visa stamping, the medical and the ticket. Everyone said it would come back in a year. I believed them completely. The agent in Tolichowki promised a store supervisor job, 3,500 riyals, room included. He showed me a printed offer letter with a company logo, and to my family that was proof. Nobody asked to speak to the company. Nobody checked if the job existed. I didn't either. That's the part that still makes me angry, mostly at myself and not at him. I landed and there was no supervisor job. Just a man who took my passport for the iqama. For almost 4 months I sat in a shared room in Batha with 9 other men. Every week the answer was the same, papers in process, wait a little more. The 15,000 rupees I'd brought was gone by month 2, on food, recharges and bus fare. My mother called every night asking if I'd started. I kept saying soon. I couldn't tell her the truth. She'd sold her bangles and my father was paying interest. So I took the first job that came, warehouse helper at a cold storage, 1,800 riyals. Half of what was promised, with 12 hour shifts. I said yes in under a minute. Then 3 years went on the loan, my sister's wedding in 2020, my father's knee and a leaking roof. Things are better now. I moved to a logistics company in 2021 and the pay is decent. I'm not saying don't go. I'm saying don't go on an agent's word and a borrowed lakh. Call the company yourself, find someone working there, and keep 3 months of money aside.

I agree with your point to an extent. Gulf jobs can be a good opportunity when someone checks the employer, skips unnecessary agent fees, and has savings for the early months. The bigger danger now is online job scams, fake offer letters on WhatsApp and Instagram asking for visa or medical fees upfront, then the person vanishes. Never pay before verifying the company, and never go into debt for a job you cannot confirm.

I see it a bit differently. My brother in law got his Gulf job through direct company hiring, no agent. The first 4 months were rough for him, but he stuck it out, and the pay went up later. Debt for a ticket isn't always wrong, but borrowing for a job you haven't confirmed is. So it can work out, if you check the employer first and keep some money aside.

A neighbour of ours sold a plot to send his son to Dubai, and never asked who the agent was. The son came back after 8 months, with less money than he left with.

This hit close. I've spent 6 months this year applying for Gulf jobs from Hyderabad and saw a lot of these offers. Office job, 3,000 riyals, accommodation included. 2 agents asked for 80,000 rupees just for the visa. I said no to both. A friend from my area said yes to one. He's now driving a water tanker in Dammam. Not the job they promised him. He sends money home anyway.

My father had an 11 pm rule for the front door when I was a teenager. I hated it. Looking back, it kept me out of a few bad nights, though he locked me out once. I stood outside until Fajr and felt every minute of it. I still got the message. I don't think rules alone fix much, but some structure early on does help.

Half the young men I know wake up at Zuhr and ask their mother what's for food. Then they get married and tell the wife to ask the mother for 5000 till a job comes. I did the same thing at 22, so I can't point fingers, and my mother chased me with a broom. She was right to. Time goes very fast, so please don't repeat what I did.

Some of these young guys think it's a royal lifestyle out here, that money just flows in without any real effort involved. My sister's son once told me that he pictures uncles abroad basically sitting at home while cash walks in on its own, that's the impression they've formed from social media and hearsay. I don't know what work I'm supposed to tell him about anymore. May Allah give these young ones some proper guidance and a reality check.

The thing is, back in school and college days, mom and dad used to say 'study, son, don't waste time roaming around with friends,' but nobody ever listened, it was all about friends, hanging out, dressing up, watching movies.... now go abroad to work, if we'd studied properly back then we could've gotten a job right here in Hitech City in an MNC, now look, all the outsiders come and get MNC jobs in Hyderabad.....and our own boys go off to Saudi, go off to Dubai.... well, fine, I guess.

Superboy78 wrote:You all are saying the right thing, but there's also this, if the boy doesn't go through all this trouble, then how would marriage even happen? The boy knows that only if he goes through all this trouble will he get a bride, what do girls have to worry about, brother, peace, comfort, an easy life, no tension, no worries.... sleep in till 12, watch serials till 2 or 3 in the morning, the match comes, 'madam' says ok and the wedding happens, and after that, 'janu, get me a plate of mutton biryani from Nizam's or Shah Ghouse, my good janu' she says, and now everyone's so busy pampering 'janu' that her feet don't even touch the ground, nobody's ever said such sweet things to him in his whole life.🙃

Superboy, what do you mean girls sleep till 12, that might be the case in your house, how can you put all girls in the same category, why do you think girls have such an easy life, and what's this about getting biryani from a hotel, your mind is operating on a whole different negative level, please, my best advice for you is to see a good doctor😡😡😡

You all are saying the right thing, but there's also this, if the boy doesn't go through all this trouble, then how would marriage even happen? The boy knows that only if he goes through all this trouble will he get a bride, what do girls have to worry about, brother, peace, comfort, an easy life, no tension, no worries.... sleep in till 12, watch serials till 2 or 3 in the morning, the match comes, 'madam' says ok and the wedding happens, and after that, 'janu, get me a plate of mutton biryani from Nizam's or Shah Ghouse, my good janu' she says, and now everyone's so busy pampering 'janu' that her feet don't even touch the ground, nobody's ever said such sweet things to him in his whole life.🙃

My cousin went to Jubail on a promised office job and ended up as a security guard.

Brother, this situation and this topic apply to so many households, may Allah give our children strength and improve their fortune. A relative of mine, my aunt's son, went to Saudi, to Riyadh, and his sponsor there was really bad, asking for money over every little thing. When he was heading to Saudi, the agent had told him it was a computer job in an office, salary 2900 + accommodation, but when he got there, there was no accommodation and the job turned out to be an office boy's job. He'd gotten badly stuck. The boy told the sponsor many times that he'd come for a computer job and was now being made to do this instead. The sponsor threatened him and said to work quietly, or he'd send him to jail on false charges. The poor boy went silent after that, household responsibilities, debt, all of it was running through his mind, that's the biggest kind of helplessness there is.