💬 Do Hyderabad weddings really need this much money?

My cousin got married in March and I went to every function, 4 in total, over 6 days. The hall was lit like a stadium. There was a stage, a separate stage for photos, and a man only for flowers. The groom's father told me quietly, I took a loan for this. He was smiling, which was the worst part. He asked me not to repeat it, so I'm not naming anyone here. I just can't stop thinking about it. I'm not against weddings. I love the food, I love seeing relatives, I even enjoy the noise. But I counted the dishes at the dinner. There were 14 items and half the plates went in the bin. Everyone takes a bit of everything because it's there, then leaves most of it. I did it too. Nobody there needed 14 items. We were all just doing it because that's how weddings are supposed to look. A friend of mine got married last year with just 80 guests at a small hall near Mehdipatnam. Some relatives were upset. One stopped talking to his mother for 3 months because she wasn't invited. They're fine now, and he has no loan. He told me that was worth 3 months of silence. So it can be done. It just needs one family brave enough to take the heat first. I'm not saying every wedding should be tiny. A family that can afford a big one, let them enjoy it. My worry is the families who can't, and still do it because of what the street will say. What do you think, can we ever get to simpler weddings here? Or will everyone just keep copying the last one? I'd love to hear from anyone who kept theirs small. Was it hard to say no to the extra guests?

We're planning my brother's wedding right now and this post hit home. Our list is already at 400. My mother keeps saying just one more family, and then that family has 4 more people. I like the idea of telling everyone the number early. Did that really work, or did people argue anyway? If it worked, I'm going to copy it word for word and show my father this thread.

I'll push back a little. For some families a big wedding is how they thank everyone who helped. My father's friends from 40 years ago came to my sister's wedding and he cried.

My brother's wedding was 2 years ago and we kept it to 150 guests. Some people still bring it up. The family pressure was real, mostly from relatives who wanted their own friends invited too.