🙁 Every single family function turns into a comment session about my weight

Ten kilos. That's roughly what I've put on over the last two years, between a desk job, some medication that didn't help, and stress that never really let up even on the good weeks. Every wedding since then has turned into the same script. An aunt saying I looked so much healthier before. An uncle offering a diet plan I didn't ask for, usually before I've even sat down and had water. Someone always brings up a photo from my cousin's wedding, like that's the fixed point I'm supposed to be measured against forever, frozen at that exact size in that exact outfit. I used to laugh it off. Figured it came from a caring place even if it landed badly every single time it came up. After enough weddings, the laughing stopped being real. Now I check the guest list before deciding whether a function is even worth attending at all. I tried saying something once, told an aunt directly that the comments weren't helpful. She said she was only saying it because she cares about me and worries. Maybe she is. Doesn't change how my stomach drops the second I walk into these rooms now, before anyone has even said a word. My cousins have started noticing too, one of them nudges the conversation elsewhere when she sees it starting to build. Last month I skipped a second cousin's pre-wedding party entirely, told everyone I had a work thing, and spent the evening at home instead, relieved rather than guilty about it. My mother has stopped adding her own comments at least, which counts for something even if it took two years of asking her to stop. At this point I've basically accepted I'll spend every family function being quietly compared to a picture from four years ago, and there are worse problems to have, I suppose, just an exhausting one to keep carrying around, one wedding at a time.

The 'we say it because we care' line came up in my house too, from my own mother, and arguing back only gave the comment more attention than it deserved. I started changing the subject myself before anyone could finish the sentence, usually by asking about their own kids or work instead. It has not fixed everything, but the comments have gotten noticeably shorter after a few functions.

My cousins do the same thing for me, jumping in to change the subject the moment an aunt starts on my weight, and it does help in the moment even though it never stops the comments at the next function. What worked a little was answering with a flat 'yes I know' instead of explaining myself, it seemed to bore them faster than any real response did.

Considering skipping smaller functions entirely just to avoid the comments says a lot about how much this has worn you down, more than any single comment on its own would. I went through something similar for a while and eventually just started attending fewer of the optional ones without over-explaining why. Nobody questioned it much, which surprised me given how loudly they normally comment on everything else.