⚖️ Found out my brother met the lawyer about dad's property without telling me

My cousin told me about it before my own brother did, that he'd already sat down with a lawyer two months ago to understand how our father's property would eventually get divided among the three of us. Our father is alive and reasonably healthy for his age, so there was no urgency here, no crisis forcing a quiet decision behind anyone's back that anyone could point to later. That's what makes being left out of it sting more than it might otherwise have. When I brought it up with my brother directly, over the phone on a Sunday afternoon while I was still in my pajamas, he said it was just an informal chat to understand the process, nothing decided, and he hadn't thought it was worth mentioning since nothing concrete had happened yet on his end. I understand the logic, technically, even if it doesn't sit right. It still says something that including me, even casually, in a conversation about assets that affect us both didn't cross his mind even once in two whole months. We shared a room until I was fifteen. We used to cover for each other constantly, small things, big things, exam results, curfews, all of it. My mother says property talks are traditionally handled by sons anyway, which is its own argument entirely that I don't have the energy for right now. He texted a few days later, casually, like nothing had happened between us at all. I haven't brought any of this up with my father, not yet at least, and I'm not sure I will, given his health and how little good it might do. Some part of me still wonders if the oversight was as innocent as my brother made it sound on the phone that Sunday, or whether he simply hoped I wouldn't find out until it was already settled.

Something similar happened with my sister and me over our mother's savings account, found out through an aunt instead of directly from her, and the informal excuse stung more than the actual information did. What helped a little was bringing it up with my father instead of my sister, framed as wanting to understand the process myself, which avoided a direct confrontation with her while still getting me properly included going forward.

Sharing a room until fifteen and this still happening says more about unspoken assumptions than about him not caring, at least that is how I would read it.

Sharing a room until you were fifteen makes this sting more, and your mother's comment about sons traditionally handling property adds a separate layer of frustration on top of the exclusion itself. Both things are valid to be upset about even though they are different issues. I would probably bring up the room sharing history directly with your brother, since that shared closeness makes the oversight harder to just brush off.