👶 My in-laws' expectations changed overnight after the baby arrived and I feel unprepared

Before our daughter was born four months ago, my relationship with my in-laws was genuinely pleasant, occasional visits, easy conversation, nothing that felt like pressure in either direction. Almost the moment she arrived though, an entirely different set of expectations seemed to switch on, specific opinions about feeding schedules, how often they should be allowed to visit without asking first, and a general assumption that decisions about the baby's routine should involve their input as a matter of course rather than something we simply share when we choose to. My mother in law has started calling most mornings specifically to ask what the baby ate and whether she is sleeping through the night yet, questions that feel harmless individually but add up to something that genuinely stresses me out during an already exhausting stretch of very little sleep myself. My husband tends to see it as simply excitement from his side of the family and does not fully register why it feels different to me, someone recovering physically while also being watched fairly closely in how I am handling things. I tried gently mentioning that I needed a bit more space to figure things out on my own terms before getting too much outside input, and the response was mild hurt rather than actual understanding, framed as me shutting them out of a moment they had waited a long time for as grandparents. I do understand that framing to some extent, but it does not change how overwhelmed the constant check ins genuinely make me feel most days right now. Part of me wonders if this eases naturally once the newborn stage passes and routines settle into something less fragile, or if this specific dynamic with in laws just continues in some form for years once it establishes itself this early. Has anyone navigated something similar in the first few months, and did setting boundaries early actually help without it turning into ongoing resentment on either side?

My mother in law did the exact same daily check in calls after our first was born, and what actually worked was my husband being the one to gently set the boundary with his own mother directly, rather than it coming from me and getting read as rejection. Took about a month for the calls to settle into something more reasonable and considerably less exhausting for everyone involved.