💬 My Wife Left for Her Parents' House Because My Salary Is Not Enough

Twelve days ago my wife packed some clothes, took the kids and went to her parents' house. The reason is my salary. I work at a private company and the pay is okay, not great. Rent and school fees take most of it, and by the end of the month there's almost nothing left. She's been unhappy about this for a long time. At first I tried to explain that a better job doesn't just appear because you want one. Then the small discussions turned into regular arguments. She compares us with other families. She says the children deserve better and she's tired of calculating every rupee before spending it. I get it. But when she says it like that, it sounds like I'm not trying. I am trying. I'm sending my CV everywhere and going to interviews. Nothing yet. Now she says she'll come back when I find a job that pays more. What hurt most was her mother. She told me, "If you cannot manage your household expenses, what is the point of sending our daughter to live with you?" I've never run away from my responsibilities. I just don't earn enough right now. I don't want to fight with her. Do I keep calling and try to talk her round, or give her some space until I have something better to show?

Any update on this? Did she agree to meet and talk, or is it still only phone calls between you two?

I'll say something you might not like. Twelve days at her parents' place isn't only about your salary. She's probably scared about the kids' future and doesn't know how to say it without it sounding like blame. Her mother saying that line means they've been talking about it a lot at home. Ask her what amount each month would make her feel safe, a real number. Then you can both see how far off you are, and the argument turns into a plan. Also keep seeing the kids, whatever is going on between you two. They notice more than we think, and they shouldn't feel like they're in the middle.

While you're searching, look at small extra income too, even if it's only a few thousand a month. Weekend work, part time evening work, anything that shows things are moving. It won't fix everything, but it gives you something real to tell her, not just interviews. Sometimes that is what someone needs to hear before coming back.

The mother in law's line is harsh, but try not to answer it. Anything you say back to her will reach your wife bigger than it was. Keep the talks between the two of you for now.

I wouldn't wait for the new job before talking to her properly. Phone calls during a fight usually go round in circles. Go to her parents' house once, sit with her alone, and talk about the money as a team problem. Bring a written list of what comes in and what goes out every month. When she sees the numbers next to yours, it stops being your fault and becomes something you fix together.

Twelve days is a long time with the kids away. Are you at least talking to them every day?