💰 Quietly saving money to eventually leave a marriage I never actually wanted

Got married six years ago in what was very much an arranged match, one I went along with at the time mostly because I did not feel I had a genuinely strong enough reason to refuse it that my family would have actually accepted or understood as valid back then. My husband is not cruel or abusive in any obvious way, we simply have never actually connected in any real, meaningful sense despite genuinely trying at various points over these years together. For the past year, I have been quietly setting aside a small amount from my own salary each month into a separate account he does not know about, not for anything dramatic or urgent right now specifically, just building toward some real future flexibility in case I eventually decide to actually leave this marriage properly, whenever that specific moment might come for me. I have not told anyone in my family about any of this, partly because divorce in general still carries real, significant stigma in our specific community, and partly because I genuinely do not know yet if I will actually go through with it in the end, or whether this savings habit is more about simply feeling some sense of control over my own life than an actual concrete plan I fully intend to carry out. Some days the marriage genuinely feels tolerable enough, comfortable in its own quiet, familiar way, and other days I feel a real, distinct sense of dread about the idea of staying in it for the rest of my actual life without ever really having chosen it myself in any true sense to begin with. I have not spoken to my husband directly about any of this either, mostly because I genuinely do not know what I actually want yet myself, and bringing it up prematurely feels like it would force a decision I am not fully ready to make in either direction at this particular point. Has anyone else quietly prepared like this before actually deciding anything definite, and did having that specific financial safety net eventually make the actual decision easier to make, or did it just become its own separate, ongoing source of anxiety instead?

Did something similar for nearly two years before making a decision either way, and looking back the account itself never really pushed me toward leaving or staying, it just gave me a small sense that the choice was still mine to make eventually. Whatever you end up deciding, having that quiet option probably matters more for your own peace right now than any actual plan sitting behind it.